real life

R E A L  L I F E

sometimes

life seems really hard.

last week, i experienced one of "those days."

i woke up at 4 pm

yes, i did say p.m.

(i'm working graveyard shifts right now so give me a break)

my hair looking like some sort of awkward 3D art project.

i felt soooo sick to my stomach.

i felt overly anxious and i had no idea why.

and then i remembered i had hardly seen Bry in 4 days between our busy schedules.

so, i cried a little.

i curled up into a ball, hit the snooze, and declared to the new day 

"i'm not ready for you."

and collapsed back under my covers.

-_-

but then i sat there drowning in my own lazy guilt and decided to flip on my lamp and
read from a book that always brings a warm feeling to my heart.

it was just what i needed after the crazy week.

and here's what i was reminded of.

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life is worth fighting through "those days."

because of a Savior, we have the opportunity to wake up and start all over again.

a clean slate. with a sunrise every morning. 
do you ever wonder if He helps paint the color in the sky to remind us of His love? 
i do.

because of a Savior, we know He looks past our struggles and focuses on our  p o t e n t i a l 

because of a Savior, we can communicate to God directly, and know that there's always someone who "gets it" perfectly.

i feel so lucky to be a child of a living God who adores us more than we'll ever know.

no matter what belief system or religion you belong to, this should give everyone peace.

and here's the other thing that has been on my mind for a while.

social media.

does anyone else want to bury their phone in a hole sometimes and never go back looking for it!?

social media can be so competitive and demeaning.
it makes me feel like i can never catch up.

and it can so easily alter our perceptions of people.

but here's the truth.

we're human.

and let me break it down to the basics.

no one is perfect.

or even close.

and here's the other truth.

Jealousy is the thief of joy. and so is Comparison. 

those two deserve a capital letter because they're  r e a l 
and they like to hang out with each other, i think.

instead of being jealous of someone who seems like their life is perfect 
or comparing ourselves to "that girl" on the fashion blog who always gets a gazillion "likes" for her outfit (which costs more than all my earthly possessions combined!!)...

...how about this:
how about we turn it around completely and start trying to be a little bit happier for people and their successes, and also content in our own world whatever it may be.

how about we stop picking our own poor bodies apart and start embracing who we are and what God has given us? how about we start looking at those smile-wrinkles, skin blemishes, extra fat on stomachs that have enjoyed their chocolate cookies, and gray hairs in a different way. those things make us human. those things remind us that we've lived.

maybe we start seeing those things in a different light.
because we are His and He created us.

bottom line is this: 
you are YOU because He wanted it to be so.

oh and also

can't we stop pretending we're rich and famous and start being real?

i saw this quote somewhere once and think it describes my feelings perfectly...

"Ultimately, social media is a narcissistic playground where the best, the funniest, the most charming aspects of our lives are publicized... and the bad stuff, the boring stuff, the beige that is most of our daily grind almost never gets posted.  All those walls are edited at some level and that makes them, at best, a deformed mirror image of real life or, at worst, nothing more than a fictional movie of how we want people to see us."

right!?

and i have to admit, i'm guilty of this and so is mostly everybody. it's true, we mainly post about things that go right, days that seem like heaven, and choose the pictures where everyone's looking decent. 

 i feel lucky that most days are good and happy days with my bry... but every moment is definitely not "picture perfect", and our week is never filled with sunshine 24/7.

but i try to be happy, and so should you.
we shouldn't let things out of our control, control us.

i'm not saying i think people should post only about their bad days.

cause that's not real life either.

life should be happy and good in every way.

but i think it's important to realize that social media is merely a

g l i m p s e .

it should NEVER define a person and we must certainly not let ourselves judge people good or bad because of it. in fact, social media gives us so small a glimpse into people's lives, that it shouldn't determine anything!

with that being said, social media is also a very good thing.

it can remind us of the happy moments, it can bring us friends, it allows us to connect with people, it begs for us to create, and it promotes pure freedom of expression.

i do love those aspects about it.

i think it's important to understand our own motives of  why we are posting the pictures/messages we are posting. 

what is the real intent behind it?
if our intent is good and happy, then by all means we should post!

i hope i can be better, even with this blog, to post about the realness of my life.
and i hope that readers won't ever feel undervalued from visiting.

 i have been thinking this month about getting rid of this blog all together... but especially during this time in my life, my soul needs a creative outlet, and this is filling that space for the moment.

i go to work every week and most people there have brilliant left brains. the hospital is a left brain haven: things are scientific, logical, and exact. and although parts of me love that perfectly evidence-based world dealing with numbers and medicine, i am struggling to find moments to use my unpredictable and free-spirited right-brained self. (this picture below is spot on.)

i don't post things here to brag about how my life is "perfect"... cause that would be a big fat lie. i don't blog to be famous, because that's unrealistic and selfish. i blog because i want to share some happiness to this tiny corner of the internet. i blog because it forces me to keep up with my scrapbook that hopefully my kids will care to skim through one day. :) and i blog to write- something that has always been very important to me.

sometimes it's scary to open up and share what's truly in my heart.

it always takes courage to allow others to find weakness in myself.
i'm a perfectionist, and vulnerability is a difficult concept that i'm trying to work on every day.

but i think we can all try to be a little bit better about it.

and hopefully one day

when we're having one of "those days" again

we can remember that it's only human

and it's only part of life.

...and because of a Savior

we have another sunrise to look forward to tomorrow.

and if you made it this far (which may be only a few of you), please take 20 more minutes of your day to listen to one of my all time favorite TED talks by Brene Brown. It is enlightening and refreshing to hear. click on this link now.  you won't regret it. 

xo

m